Until Then

we sat on a roof, named every star
you showed me a place
where you can be what you are
and the view, the whole milky way
in your eyes, I drifted away
and in your arms, I just want to sway
amazing day
amazing day

Yellow

Tonight I'm thanking God for giving me such a beautiful family.
We just had a good time at the studio. Mom and Dad, eventhou they didn't take big part of the band, looked happy and enjoying the night too.
It's been years since big brother living apart from us for his study, and then he was continuing his work away from home. Long story short, few weeks ago, he got himself resigned from the company he worked for, and decided to stay at home for a while.
Little brother, who used to live away too, chooses to commuter now. So do I. I am no longer living in Jogja eventhou I still work there. But I personally think it's okay to spend 2 hours driving everyday.
So here we are, seven of us reunited again.
It's always been a happy day at home. Because everyone are here. This house is like finding its spark all over again.
You can call me melancholy, but I feel the warm inside of me whenever I join Mom and Dad's karaoke time, having quality time at parents' room, getting into roadtrip-to-whenever with them... No matter how much we love these kind of moments, we know that nothing lasts forever. Including this togetherness. Because eventually, we will live separately. Thus, I wanna capture it in this writing.
We may not be the kind of family who tell we love each other, take a lot of picture in every moment, or showing affection with kisses and hugs.
But we know that we are tied by blood, living by faith, loving with the whole heart.

May Allah always bless us.

Blue Whale

I guess this is how it feels to be tired but cannot sleep.
Well, it sucks. Hahaha...
So, guilty feeling is eating me up. Midnight thoughts combined with a lack of sleep and too much caffeine intake is the cruelest.
I failed in managing my priorities. I messed things up. I've given up every sources that I had, and now I'm reaching my lowest point. Sums up, I disappoint myself.

How could this happen?
I was doing well when I got everything written on the list. Since I began to forget the magic of written agendas, I started to screw things up. As simple as that: writing is simple, but it matters.

People keep telling me not to be too hard on myself, learning to say no, and the list go on and on. But deep down inside I have this hidden agenda; I wanna train myself to bear a weigher workload. I won't let myself passing a year without any personal development. I keep in mind that the pain worth the gain. So here I am, promising myself to write again.

And here, I present you, my new mate.

Cheers!

Here's to the person who makes my life a lot easier. 

Yeah the Truth is...

There’s nothing special in hellos and goodbyes. We face it like almost every time, almost in every phases of our lives. In every beginning, in every ending; since everything has expired date. Don't you think we should’ve gotten used to it?

There’s nothing special in hellos and goodbyes. There’s only some of us who takes it harder than what it should be.

Why don’t we take it as a casual thing?

It’s just that you need to tell where do you grow up, your childhood memories, your relationship with your family. Your favorite bands, your kind of music, your favorite movies, the books that changed the way you see something. Your wildest dream, your weird habits, your obsession towards Jane Austen, how you manage to remember every lines in A Walk to Remember, your delusional thoughts about the existence of Hogwarts. To explain that you’re an over-attached person, that you’re having a love-hate relationship with your car, that you can’t live without your notebook, that you love road trip so much. That you are a goddamn picky eater, that you love the scent of chocolate but hate chocolate bars, that you would love to build a house with a white walls but colorful kitchen, that you choose McD over KFC all the way, that regardless of how you look, you secretly in love with pink stuffs and flowers. To tell about your fears, your midnight thoughts, your scariest nightmare. Your pride as a person, your accomplishments, and your insecurities. Your dreams, and the values you hold for life.

And then you realize you have shared so much to a person who used to mean the world to you. 

That a goodbye can never be easy, and a hello costs a lot more than just a single hi. 

That to share the same vision, to make a room in your life for a new person, to write a new story…is hard.

That, is how you realize that goodbye sucks.