22

This is an annual writing about ...

The Heart of The Matter

One day when I finally have kids on my own, I will teach them to clean up their own mess. To throw trashes on the appropriate trash bin. To follow the queue line. Not to use water more than what they need. To say sorry, please, and thank you. Tell them to respect everyone no matter what.

I may not be able to change the world. I may not be able to solve all the problems. This world has been a mess since forever. But I’m sure I can do small things, at least not to worsen this chaotic planet.

(I write this as a promise to myself not to be those kind of parents who tell their kids that it’s okay to be ignorant, selfish and rude. Pardon me but I just can’t hold the anger when I see parents who teach their kids to break the queue and throwing trash anywhere. I can easily find those kind of parents almost everywhere. Those kind of parents who create little monsters.)

It's Nobody's Fault

Do you ever feel bad about the bad things happen around you? So bad that it hurts. Feels worse that I can't do anything to make it right. My guilty feeling is just overwhelming it starts to eat me alive.
I had a talk with my dad earlier today and I came to the realization that actually, we can't save people. We can only help them. But please keep in mind that it ain't our duty to drag them back to the right path. We don't even capable to do so. What is right and wrong, anyway?
I need to learn to forgive. To tell myself that hey, it's okay. You don't have to bear the weight of the world on your shoulder. The world is still round even when you're not around.

I Got A Long List Of Her Future Name

I'm thinking about having a pet. A dog or a cat would be fine...
I've been thinking about this for months, therefore I know that it's not just an impulsive thought hahaha... Regardless my prior anxiety towards (all kind of) animal, I really want to have one, now. It sounds weird but I can't wait for the time when I come home and having a cute little creature welcoming me. But since there's a strict rule in my house about not to have any pet, I still have to wait for a couple year til I get my own house and make my own rule.

Sailing Away

There were times when good things seemed so close to my grasp.
Like, wait a minute and it all will be yours.
But what is life if it ain't full of surprises right? So there it goes. Surprising me with the loss.

I saw it with my eyes, how a night could turn the whole thing around. 
It should've been... It could've been...
But I was at a loss. Then everything was gone.
The gradual changing was following afterwards.
Lead me to another space, another place.

It's okay... It's okay...
I'm acting like it was okay when it's killing me inside.
But I still gotta sail, sail away.