There You Go

As usual, at the beginning of the year I said to myself that I would write at least once a month. And as usual, months went by and none of my words coming out in this platform. Other than my personal daily journal that I bring everywhere with me (which basically just a daily to-do list and random quotes that catches my eyes during the day), I write nothing. I miss those old times where writing used to be my favorite therapy, and the goosebumps that I feel after reading an old post, be it about a glimpse of thought or a life changing event or a mandatory reflective slash overthinking writing on my birthday (which I also didn't do last year).

Life changes a lot, lately. From getting my dream job to resigning and try another opportunity; from dating my bestfriend to marrying him; from leaving my hometown to building a new home. It all happens in a year. In my excuse I would say that there’s too much to write. But the truth is I am nothing more than a lazy ass who keeps on making excuses.

And there it is, the first pointless writing in 2018. 😂

Living with Less: The Beginning

It's funny how in the end of the year, I become exactly the opposite of me at the beginning of the year. From having too much of everything, to having as little amount as possible.
I used to love keeping memorable pieces of anything. Notebooks, birthday cards, co-cards, presentation cue cards, old CDs, ticket concerts, graduation sash, even high school uniform... well, basically anything. Speaking of make up, skin care, body care and other girl stuffs, I am no better. I was a little push over when it comes to those beauty stuffs. Watching beauty vlogs and reviews on Instagram makes it worse... lol. My life was full of never ending what-to-buy list.

There came the time when I had to move out. Leaving the place I have been calling home for years, and found out that there's no way I could bring all my stuff. When sorting things, I began to realize that none of those beauty stuffs ever become an empty bottle. Surprise surprise, I didn't really use them; I only loved the idea of having them.

That is how I choose to stop. I wanted to make the best use of everything, so I decided to only keep one of each product. I even only have one lip balm now! What an accomplishment! 😂
I must admit that it was hard at the first few days. Like... I felt like I had no option, and besides, I HAD to put those things back to its exact place right after I use it. But after I get used to it, life becomes a lot easier and the house looks a lot more neat and organized. Then I think, why don't I try to simplify everything else? Well, I'm currently trying to learn about minimalist living, konmari, and capsule wardrobe. Hopefully next month me and husband will be ready to declutter for a fresh new year.. 😁

And Now It's Gone

Couple days ago I had a little talk with my dad. He was telling the story about how he lost his father. I must admit that I know nothing about my grandpa other than his name, because he had passed away long before dad even meet mom. After dad finished telling me the story, I began to realize that I don't know much about dad. We've been living together under the same roof since the day I born. But unlike him who knows everything about me, I barely know him. His childhood moments, his relationship with his parents, what makes him who he is right now... I know nothing other than the ones he told me, or what people told me about him. 

Because there were no Facebook, or blogs, or Instagram, or Twitter, or Youtube channel. Dad, and other people around his age, have no record about themselves. They didn't post selfies with nice caption in it. They took photos on special occasion and hung it on the wall. They didn't tell the world what's on their mind. They shared their thoughts to the ones they cared about. They didn't talk to their relatives who lived abroad. They made conversation with the people around them. They didn't create persona. They built personality.

Back to 2013, I watched Her for the very first time at the cinema and it haunted me for quite a long time. It scared the hell out of me, to think that someday this world would be like that. To think that I would live my life like Theodore Twombly. Coming home from work, greeted by imaginary friend instead of actual human being. It's just... sad. As the movie ended, it left a heartache in me. Maybe, just maybe, because deep down inside I knew that sooner or later it would come to our reality.

Three years passed faster than the speed of sound. I came home from lunch date with my boyfriend. We said goodbye, and five minutes later we said hello through the screen. I know what my friends are up to just by looking at the screen. I can buy the things displayed on the screen. I order foods by touching the screen. I talk to people behind the screen.

Social medias have changed the way we live our life. We care a little bit too much about recording, capturing, writing, updating, posting, and creating our life on social media. We have a talk, share the laugh, telling stories, making memories, on social media. We hold phones longer than we hold hands. We stare at the phones longer than we stare each others' eyes. Are we really sharing or are we just bragging? Why do we capturing pictures but forget to enjoy the moments? Since when scrolling down becomes the new way of having fun?

I miss the old time. But now it's gone. And what's gone is gone. We are welcoming the whole new world where we are all alone among the crowd.

Leaving 2016

I took Best Nine 2016 for fun and suddenly thinking, that it's pretty much what my 2016 looks like. 

Unlike the years before, this year I didn't write birthday post. I will make it up by writing 2016 post. Hahaha... 

So... 

Earlier this year I officially graduated. And I couldn't be more thankful because two weeks after my graduation day, I got my first job. And turns out, it is the job that I really like. It's been 9 months now, I struggle a lot and I learn a lot more. 

This year I finally revisited Lombok and I was so so so happy about it. Living in Lombok for 2 months back then in 2014 makes me feel like this place is my home. This short gateway was like coming back home. 

This year our family is reunited. We spend more time together, and I'm beyond happy for it. 

And at the end of this year, I tied the knot with a man who has been a best friend, a brother, a partner to me for 8 years. 

2016 is such a good year for me. I'm thankful for very step I took, every mistakes I made, every people I met. Sums up, I think I'm leaving 2016 with a wide smile in my face. 

Before Sunrise

I just woke up by the dream that seemed so vivid, leaving the longing feeling of the moments passed by in there.
Maybe it's a sign. Or just a casual dream. Maybe it was telling me something. Or just me whom taking it too seriously. Or maybe it leads me to the answer that I've been searching for.