Promise Me, Forever and Ever

"We used to share the same world, you and I went along together, and our conversation seemed like infinite. Now we live separately, you and I own a different world, so our conversation has a limit. What's gonna happen next, when we live in a different space? Can we stand for our conversation?"

One thing you didn't notice that afternoon; I was dying inside, when you said it.

Nothing last forever, they say. But believe it or not, some things are really meant to be forever. And I do hope this will be one of those 'some things'.

Thus, please, promise me forever...

The Best Way To Do A Suicide

Oh it's midnight and I can't even sleep. Wide-opened eyes and a terribly tummy ache mix perfectly.

I know I shouldn't have drunk coffee. But I just couldn't control myself. My bad..

Yet, a coin always has two sides, right? Look at the good side; this well-mixed-plague leads me into...*cough* perfect-study-time. Yes, midnight is perfect.

Ahhh but I'm dying. Like a serious; dying.

#notetoself drinking mochabella is the best way to do a suicide.

Conversation

"I'm tired. I'm fed up. I wanna stop. Just it.."
"This is your matter of course. You say you're tired, but you end up going the rounds instead of solving your problem"
"I can't solve this"
"Run! As far as you can, as fast as you can!"
"I'm tired even before I start to run. I can't imagine how tiring it will be. I can't..."
"Then what do you want?!"
"What would you do if you were me?"
"I'm not you"
"IF you were me. Oh come on"
"I would ask your advice just like what you do. So, IF I were you and you were me, what would you say to me?"
"..."
"What would you say to me? What would you advice me to do?"
"..."
"Stop. You'd better save your answer for yourself. That's all that you need"
"But giving an advice is way easier than actually doing it"
"That's it"
"..."
"Is he worth it?"
"..."
"Answer me. Is he worth it?"
"I don't know.."
"You know exactly the answer. You just don't admit it. C'mon, just for once, be honest!"
"I really don't know!"
"You know! Your heart speaks. It tells you what you should do. Your brain is the one who forbids you"
"..."

Oh It's Blue, It's Blue

Even I repeat it twice. It's blue. Ups, three times.

It's blue to know people don't respect you in the right way. When you've done your best but they just don't get it at all.

Four times.

It's blue to feel something cracks inside. Uh, it's broken. And a broken thing will never be fixed perfectly. Broken means forever. Forever blemish.

Five times.

It's blue to realize people misinterpret you. You do A they get B. You say C they hear D. You show E they see F. Everything is messed up in sudden, and they're pointing at you as the one who should be blamed. But you know there's nothing you can do but sighing and just let it be blowed up by them.

Six times.

It's blue to find out you yourself is sick of being good to people. It's a bad sign, yes I know. But it's tiring. Feel like you need to burst out loud just to let them know you're tired of how they expect you to be.

Seven times.

It's blue to hear your friend tells you the fact that you can never make everybody in this world happy at the same time, when you've worked hard to make it happens.

Eight times.

K. I'm done saying It's blue.

Fine, nine times.

I'm stopping.

Ain't That Mellow

RT @AlberthieneE: Berbahagialah orang yg dianugerahi rindu. Kamu tahu, rasa itu tak bisa ditipu.

I ever heard that based on psychology study, someone who comes into your dream is actually the one who's missing you the most.

Hemmm. You popped up in my dream this dawn. You, in your red t-shirt, standing in the middle of the crowd and surprisingly, I recognized your presence, in a glimpse. That simple.

You're an old guy from the past. And I'm ensure that you're never gonna be here anymore. You had stayed too long. You should've been gone. Or everything will be a mess. No. Just... just go! I belong to my new chapter of life and please, don't be here. No no no I'm not begging. Ah.

You gotta know that I don't miss you. Oh I know, you won't read this. I write this just to convince myself, I don't miss you at all. So, are you the one who misses me that much? :p

Hello, Troublesome. Let's be friend!

Why is it so complicated? Things aren't going well lately. Too much thoughts inside this head, and I'm lack of focus. Too much problems, and none of them I can handle. Whatta mess.

Then who should be blamed? The circumstances, people around me, or me myself?

It's Called First

People ask me why it's so hard to trust people,

& I ask them why is it so hard to a keep promise.

I feel somehow a twinge of truth to this fact. Don't you?