Say Something Now

If I'm allowed to personally describe myself in a good way, I consider myself as a person who's pretty good in words. It's like I have lots of them in my mind.
But I have a problem in expressing them. I mean, adding up the proper expression then saying it to the person who deserve it. Oh pardon my ego.
Yesterday was December 22, a Mother Day. I really wanted to upload her pics to my socmeds and give some beautiful words as the caption (just like everyone else did, yesterday) but... I was challenging myself not to do such a thing unless I have said those-beautiful-words directly to mom first.

There was some kind of battle inside my head between my thankful heart and my cold ego. I wasn't raised in a full-of-sweet-nothings kind of family who easily expressing one's affection, so...my ego was coming out as the winner of this war.
But I didn't let it easily go that way. Basically I love challenge so... I bought her her favorite cake, and in the end of the day I gave it to her and told her in a very awkward way...... "Selamat hari ibu, Bu".
I knew she deserved something better than that but that was the most possible thing I could do for now.
I wish I could say how much she mean to me. I won't something cheesy like she's the best mom on earth, but here's the thing...
She's a very logic person with a kind heart. She's the kind of person who doesn't talk much but literally do something. She's more like telling us about something with her acts instead of her words. And I think that's the best way of parents telling their kids what to do.
She gave up her ego and never obliged us to become who she wants us to be. Not every kids in this world is blessed with acceptance from their parents to be whoever they want to be. My parents don't mind with what the society says, they support us as best as they can do.
As a woman, she's brave and independent, bright and hardworker but very capable of taking care of our family. She's the idea of what a woman should be, so that's why I want to grow up becoming a woman like her.
We don't say 'I love you's often. But don't we already know we do? After all, we sort of keeping it for the special occasions and I think that's brilliant because those words will never become less meaningful.

If I could get back to womb and choose my future mother, I wouldn't wish for anyone else but her. Yes, she's the best of what the world can offer.
And after all, all I can say is... her flaws don't make her less perfect for me. I don't care what the world say because in my world, she's the best.