And Now It's Gone

Couple days ago I had a little talk with my dad. He was telling the story about how he lost his father. I must admit that I know nothing about my grandpa other than his name, because he had passed away long before dad even meet mom. After dad finished telling me the story, I began to realize that I don't know much about dad. We've been living together under the same roof since the day I born. But unlike him who knows everything about me, I barely know him. His childhood moments, his relationship with his parents, what makes him who he is right now... I know nothing other than the ones he told me, or what people told me about him. 

Because there were no Facebook, or blogs, or Instagram, or Twitter, or Youtube channel. Dad, and other people around his age, have no record about themselves. They didn't post selfies with nice caption in it. They took photos on special occasion and hung it on the wall. They didn't tell the world what's on their mind. They shared their thoughts to the ones they cared about. They didn't talk to their relatives who lived abroad. They made conversation with the people around them. They didn't create persona. They built personality.

Back to 2013, I watched Her for the very first time at the cinema and it haunted me for quite a long time. It scared the hell out of me, to think that someday this world would be like that. To think that I would live my life like Theodore Twombly. Coming home from work, greeted by imaginary friend instead of actual human being. It's just... sad. As the movie ended, it left a heartache in me. Maybe, just maybe, because deep down inside I knew that sooner or later it would come to our reality.

Three years passed faster than the speed of sound. I came home from lunch date with my boyfriend. We said goodbye, and five minutes later we said hello through the screen. I know what my friends are up to just by looking at the screen. I can buy the things displayed on the screen. I order foods by touching the screen. I talk to people behind the screen.

Social medias have changed the way we live our life. We care a little bit too much about recording, capturing, writing, updating, posting, and creating our life on social media. We have a talk, share the laugh, telling stories, making memories, on social media. We hold phones longer than we hold hands. We stare at the phones longer than we stare each others' eyes. Are we really sharing or are we just bragging? Why do we capturing pictures but forget to enjoy the moments? Since when scrolling down becomes the new way of having fun?

I miss the old time. But now it's gone. And what's gone is gone. We are welcoming the whole new world where we are all alone among the crowd.

Leaving 2016

I took Best Nine 2016 for fun and suddenly thinking, that it's pretty much what my 2016 looks like. 

Unlike the years before, this year I didn't write birthday post. I will make it up by writing 2016 post. Hahaha... 

So... 

Earlier this year I officially graduated. And I couldn't be more thankful because two weeks after my graduation day, I got my first job. And turns out, it is the job that I really like. It's been 9 months now, I struggle a lot and I learn a lot more. 

This year I finally revisited Lombok and I was so so so happy about it. Living in Lombok for 2 months back then in 2014 makes me feel like this place is my home. This short gateway was like coming back home. 

This year our family is reunited. We spend more time together, and I'm beyond happy for it. 

And at the end of this year, I tied the knot with a man who has been a best friend, a brother, a partner to me for 8 years. 

2016 is such a good year for me. I'm thankful for very step I took, every mistakes I made, every people I met. Sums up, I think I'm leaving 2016 with a wide smile in my face. 

Before Sunrise

I just woke up by the dream that seemed so vivid, leaving the longing feeling of the moments passed by in there.
Maybe it's a sign. Or just a casual dream. Maybe it was telling me something. Or just me whom taking it too seriously. Or maybe it leads me to the answer that I've been searching for.

Until Then

we sat on a roof, named every star
you showed me a place
where you can be what you are
and the view, the whole milky way
in your eyes, I drifted away
and in your arms, I just want to sway
amazing day
amazing day

Yellow

Tonight I'm thanking God for giving me such a beautiful family.
We just had a good time at the studio. Mom and Dad, eventhou they didn't take big part of the band, looked happy and enjoying the night too.
It's been years since big brother living apart from us for his study, and then he was continuing his work away from home. Long story short, few weeks ago, he got himself resigned from the company he worked for, and decided to stay at home for a while.
Little brother, who used to live away too, chooses to commuter now. So do I. I am no longer living in Jogja eventhou I still work there. But I personally think it's okay to spend 2 hours driving everyday.
So here we are, seven of us reunited again.
It's always been a happy day at home. Because everyone are here. This house is like finding its spark all over again.
You can call me melancholy, but I feel the warm inside of me whenever I join Mom and Dad's karaoke time, having quality time at parents' room, getting into roadtrip-to-whenever with them... No matter how much we love these kind of moments, we know that nothing lasts forever. Including this togetherness. Because eventually, we will live separately. Thus, I wanna capture it in this writing.
We may not be the kind of family who tell we love each other, take a lot of picture in every moment, or showing affection with kisses and hugs.
But we know that we are tied by blood, living by faith, loving with the whole heart.

May Allah always bless us.