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Wednesday, July 8, 2015

I Got A Long List Of Her Future Name

I'm thinking about having a pet. A dog or a cat would be fine...
I've been thinking about this for months, therefore I know that it's not just an impulsive thought hahaha... Regardless my prior anxiety towards (all kind of) animal, I really want to have one, now. It sounds weird but I can't wait for the time when I come home and having a cute little creature welcoming me. But since there's a strict rule in my house about not to have any pet, I still have to wait for a couple year til I get my own house and make my own rule.


Sunday, June 14, 2015

Sailing Away

There were times when good things seemed so close to my grasp.
Like, wait a minute and it all will be yours.
But what is life if it ain't full of surprises right? So there it goes. Surprising me with the loss.

I saw it with my eyes, how a night could turn the whole thing around. 
It should've been... It could've been...
But I was at a loss. Then everything was gone.
The gradual changing was following afterwards.
Lead me to another space, another place.

It's okay... It's okay...
I'm acting like it was okay when it's killing me inside.
But I still gotta sail, sail away.

Monday, April 27, 2015

The Age of Worry

It's hard to put my thoughts into words when there's a mess inside my head. That's why I prefer to find the solution on my own rather than asking for help. Because I consider telling people about my problem is causing another problem.
Close your eyes and clone yourself
Build your heart an army
to defend your innocence
while you do everything wrong
But I got stuck. Self-blaming and overthinking made things worse.
I randomly said hi to an old friend of mine and started to talk.
And magic did happen.
I paid attention to every words that I had said. I slowly analyzed what actually happened, what was on my mind, and what burdened me these times.
Then I realized, that I should've done this sooner. Because things suddenly got clearer.
And it's true that there's a light even in the darkest place.
Don't be scared to walk alone
Don't be scared to like it
There's no time that you must be home
So sleep where darkness falls
God only gives you the weight that you can bear, or a little bit weightier to lift you up to the higher place, becoming a better and stronger person. And sometimes you can look around, who knows God has already put someone to help you get through it.
Alive in the age of worry
Smile in the age of worry
Go wild in the age of worry
And say, "Worry, why should I care?"
And after all, just like what my mom told me earlier today, everyone has their age of worry. Where life seems like full of clueless pieces of puzzle. It's okay, you're gonna figure it out by the time. Go try try try, and never give up.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Waiting Outside the Lines

When every decision that you make turns out to be wrong,
you shall start to realize
that sometimes things don't work the way you thought it would be.
Then you have to evaluate,
how does it come out wrong,
is it purely a wrong choice, or are you the one who did something wrong.

When you have done the best of what you can but things still go wrong,
maybe it's not the right time,
maybe it's not the right place,
maybe it's not right for you,
because it's not meant to be for you.

Embrace your loss,
because you deserve a peace.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Grow a Day Older

I learned something today, and I think it's really important to keep reminding myself about this one: happiness is a state of mind. It is very personal thing, and you've got it all in your head. You can always choose either to be happy or not at all. So, if you can choose to be happy, why do you mind choosing the other way around? :)

Today, I won against my ego; my biggest enemy. Something made me really upset, but instead of letting my ego win by throwing profanities or put myself in a war of conceited souls, I took a step back and chose to keep my hands clean. I didn't want to get myself fooling around in the same mistake over and over again. I didn't want to sacrifice my happiness for a temporal glory. So I walked away and left what's need to be left behind; the whinny ego who always wants to win.

Well, isn't it better to be peacefully happy than winning over a war? :)